Completion
by Lavenderangel
Summary: I envy you, you know. You're special. She breathes the words directly onto her lips. VeronicaLilly, VeronicaMeg, VeronicaMac.


Title: Completion

Author: Lauren

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Veronica/Lilly, Veronica/Meg, Veronica/Mac

Summary: Veronica learns that there is always more than one.

Author's notes: written for a ficathon over at the Femslash today livejournal community.

Disclaimer: The characters within do not belong to me.

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At first, she'd thought it was just with Lilly. She'd thought their slight touches at sleepovers that they could blame on too much alcohol but never did, their slow kisses in Lilly's room while getting ready to go out; everything… was exclusive to her.

So when she is taken, Veronica finds herself missing more than just Lilly, but missing the way Lilly made her feel almost as harshly. That is partially why she cannot blame her fellow classmates for distancing themselves from her, because they must see it. Must know what a horrible person she truly is and she wishes someone would simply confront her about it.

Months later, no one has. The pain has dulled, in both counts, but still creeps up on her unexpectedly. She has learned to bury the tears, mask the hurt with bitter sarcasm. Convince herself she is better off.

Until Meg. Until a simple case turned into so much more. Genuine smiles and sincere compliments. Touches are light and friendly, this girl so different from Lilly.

So different, but evoking the same reaction. The same yearning that Veronica was never aware she experienced, because Lilly was her best friend and Lilly was always there. And maybe because Lilly felt that same rush, warmth, ache of goodness when they were close.

But Veronica knows that Meg does not feel that way. Meg might like her; probably pity's her to an extent. But that is the end of it. That is as deep as their relationship will ever go.

"I envy you, you know," Meg says one night while they're driving home. Veronica wants to ask why she's here instead of with Duncan, but the comment throws her off guard.

"For my charm, good looks and elegant mode of transportation? Many people do." She throws Meg a grin in the dim light.

Meg smiles back, but it is quick and automatic. "No, stop, it's not… you're just…" Her hand drifts up and over, brushing through Veronica's hair. The contact nearly causes her to lose concentration on the road and she pulls to the shoulder hard.

"Meg, what…" Articulate thought and even slightly coherent responses are a thing of the past. All Veronica knows is Meg's hand, soft on her scalp.

"I… just… please…" Meg's other hand cups her face, the heat of her skin starting at Veronica's cheek and swirling everywhere all at once. The car is quiet and their breaths mix as they draw closer. Veronica wishes she could describe the look in Meg's eyes as their lips meet for a brief instant, but too much is reflecting back at her, most of it Veronica's exact feelings. The kind she keeps locked away for fear they might break her.

"You're special." Meg breathes the words directly onto her lips before their mouths meet, melding all at once. The kisses are sensual, with just a hint of desperation on both ends. Veronica's hands drift from the steering wheel to caress Meg's shoulders, slipping up first into her hair and then caressing her face.

Tongues twist in an unexpected battle for dominance, and Veronica loses all thought process, simply letting herself feel, appreciate this moment she thought she would never have the chance to experience again.

Unbidden, Lilly's face comes to the forefront. Lilly, who had never called her special, because she'd never needed to. Lilly, who's been close to Veronica always. Who had lusted after countless guys but never looked at them in the same devouring way she looked at Veronica. Lilly.

The moment is lost. Tears sting her eyes, touching Megs face almost before her own. She jerks back as though the water has burned her and Meg blanches.

"What… Veronica?" Her voice is low, thick with barely suppressed desire.

"I… I'm sorry…" Veronica's words are also rasped, but for a different reason. She curls into herself, pressing her damp face against the window and breathing roughly.

Meg reaches out, placing a hand to her shoulder. The gesture is not meant to be sexual, but the feelings are the same and the tears overwhelm her for a moment, Lilly's name clenched between her teeth, begging to be let out.

When she is calm, they do not speak. She drives Meg the rest of the way home and only when she is getting out of the car does Veronica allow their gazes to meet. Meg nods but does not smile. That makes Veronica feel better.

The feelings do not go away. They are joined by guilt when she and Duncan get back together, but Veronica cannot banish them. Although she has never seen Meg on a regular basis, not seeing her at all makes her insides hurt.

Then everything spins out of control. The bus crashes and people die, but not Meg. Not yet. She just lies, painfully still and Veronica wants to touch her but does not dare.

Then, a glimmer of hope. Meg is awake. She smiles and wants Veronica to watch the baby, if anything were to happen. But nothing will, Veronica knows. She plans to come back again, but time slips away.

And then its gone, because Meg herself is. Veronica lies alone in her room after her father leaves, not letting herself cry anymore. Tears dry like plaster against her skin and she shakes with the energy of keeping more back. Functioning at all does not seem like an option, but she will not let this consume her.

She rises and washes her face clean. Goes out of her room to find her father went to meet a client. The urge to collapse on the couch is strong, but she fights it back.

A knock at the door. Duncan? Probably. She tries to regain more of her composure, but is unsuccessful. Breathing deeply, she opens the door with unsteady fingers.

"Hey." Not Duncan. Mac, not meeting her eyes.

"Hi."

"I just heard…" she is unsure.

"Yeah." A pause, both their gazes on the ground. "You want to come in?"

"If you want me to…"

"Please – I…" The word escapes before Veronica registers thinking it. She backs up, embarrassed and somehow afraid. Mac steps in slowly, her hand reaching out to touch Veronica's.

"It's okay." She says it matter-of-factly, softly. Veronica wants to see her eyes to know if it is true, but neither is ready for that.

They sit on the couch. Close. Mac has never struck her as a touchy-feely type, but their hands lie linked between them, helping the conversation start.

It is light, almost nonsensical. Mac talks about her brother shooting a department store Santa with a BB gun; Veronica talks about the epic arguments of jury duty. They smile and laugh, and it is easy. And then easy ends because all they haven't talked about is Meg and Veronica somehow knows they must.

"How did you…" She whispers the words abruptly. The laughter leaves Mac's eyes and she starts to look away, but Veronica does not let her.

"It was on the news. I'm really…" The word sorry goes unsaid, but it might as well have been.

"I don't know… it shouldn't be affecting me this way."

"It makes perfect sense that it is. She was your friend; you are allowed to miss her."

Part of Veronica wants to counter, to explain. But her throat is tight and the words get stuck. Her body shudders and tears make Mac's face a blur.

Mac mutters something, maybe "shit", before leaning forward. She pulls Veronica close, urging her head down against her hair. Veronica lets herself return the embrace and with that, the sobs come anew.

They are quiet, sitting together like that long after Veronica forces herself to stop crying. She starts to apologize but feels Mac imperceptibly shake her head from its place next to Veronica's.

"Don't," she whispers into Veronica's hair.

And that is all that is needed.

They are friends. Have been for a while, sharing jokes and doing each other favors. Laughing with Mac is like laughing with no one else, freeing and exhilarating. They don't touch often, but when they do it doesn't give Veronica a jolt. It just feels like Mac, and that feels right.

Their closeness is different. Both are closed off when it comes to people they don't trust, and they do not give trust instantly. But something forms between them, deep and almost tangible. There is no passion behind their gazes, it is simpler than that and yet deeper as well.

Promises are exchanged without either saying a word. 'I will always be here.'

And they are.


End file.
